August 2011
2 posts
As of right now, I have two jobs, one working as an under-paid Barista in Yorkville on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, and another as working under the title of “personal assistant”, and by “personal assistant”, I mean “slave to a 78 year old woman” who happens to have arthritis and depends on me to acquire her drugs on a weekly basis. A gram of weed here, a...
March 2011
1 post
Berryman & I
John Berryman’s poem from “The Dream Songs” presents a dry and humorous approach to the expectations one holds for daily thought, and the honesty behind not exactly adding up to the standards you hold for yourself. Berryman wittingly begins his poem by stating “Life, friends, is boring”. A line as simple as this automatically gives the reader a smirk, a connection to the author and a...
June 2010
1 post
Je veux vivre et je veux aimer
April 2010
9 posts
A message sent from a High School classmate
Keep in mind that I grew up in Arkansas.
“hey man you know for the longest time my family raised me to believe gay pple where wrong and they’re gonna burn in hell and all that shit basically my family is racist besides me and Remington well after high school I’ve started changing my ways to become open mindiness not meaning like that kind of open mindiness going the other way if...
Einstein on the Beach
Update after a semester
No, I didn’t pass away, I just stopped drinking and decided to start exercising instead of spending the night with drug dealers and watching Will and Grace every other day. I’m currently back in Arkansas and spend my mornings with thirty year old women in an intermediate algebra class unless I decide to skip so I can read Mark Twain, alone. My family doesn’t believe in me...
December 2009
12 posts
I looked outside the window of this cafe I was sitting in, alone, to see snowflakes the size of dreams gathering around one another, creating mountains. I sat and wrote a new essay, and looked over to a woman sitting all alone, reading a romance novel and sobbing, over and over. She was alone too, but not as much as I was because she had a story, and, well, I was just trying to create one.
I’m going to publish a book and then I’m going to kill myself.
“Listen; there’s a hell of a good universe next door: let’s go.”
I'm gonna sing the Pirate's Gospel.
This song reminds me of when you and I were at the peak of our relationship and I was having trouble sleeping. You would toss and turn, and I would lie awake, not moving an inch, just to turn over to you, watching the drool go farther and farther until it splattered on top of the semen covered sheets, and I was the only one to hear it. I couldn’t sleep that night, not even when I escaped to...
Maybe he'll keep those vices.
Sitting alone, with a cloudy mind, he has self-concern written all over his pale skin, his eyebrows slanting in the mirror before he decides to take a bath, and his feeling burning from the hot water that he chose, because, in a way, he likes the burn because he feels he deserves the burn. The burn goes through his toes, into his blood stream, and straight to his mind, and in that very moment, the...
Well, fuck.
I’m going to AA meetings at the age of 18. What does that mean?
November 2009
25 posts
Nick Drake and my now empty glass.
There are so many things I want to do within the next ten years, and every single night, I end up alone, with a glass of scotch, thinking about where I am right now, where I should be, and where I’ll end up. I’ve come to the healthy conclusion that I was once convinced that I was in love, and now, after two years, I sit on my now-boyfriends’ couch, all alone realizing that I was...
You really need to clean your ashtrays.
In some cases, it would be notable to include the idea that thought and action all happen to the raging infatuation of one day becoming infinite and superior, but the road taken to gather the true facts of life are becoming more and more blind as the days go on. There are days where the sun will rise as usual, but if he does, he will be staggered some to find nothing more than a large round hole...
Be good and you will be lonesome.
I’m pretty sure I would be okay with spending the rest of my life with you, but I’d like to be more than pretty sure.
“Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other...”
– Dalai Lama (via sivalesvaleo)
ouch.
(via andrewclayton)
touche.
Hey, look, it's starting to rain.
Waking up in someone else’s bed every single morning with a distinct taste of vodka and fresca from the night before can be classified in a very broad spectrum. Maybe it’s the creative drive or maybe it’s the starving infatuation, but either way, there’s no true excuse in making another glass at ten in the morning. I’m moving into my own apartment in a matter of a...
PBS showing
Bill Cosby is being given the Mark Twain award of the year, and of course I’m not surprised. Two of my most favorite people congregating into one metal. Always do right. This will amaze some, and astonish the rest. Goodnight.
Watch(via andrewclayton)
Andrew, Love you.
Spent Light
Tonight, for the first time all year, I lied in bed and had simple conversations with the most charming of men filled with giddy flutters back and forth with anticipation of what is to come, and the security of what already exists. Exiting words and concentrating on breaths is exactly what I needed to end the worst of all days and create a better memory.
La Crise - Yann Tierson
La Crise on a lonely night
I’ve been in a weird kick lately, where all I do, all day, is think about moving to New York next year and finally be able to breath the nasty air I’ve been anticipating for years.
Self Portrait in Three Colors
Your fingertips are like sunflower tips across my skin, and when the back of your hand is pressed against my cheek, our moment is made a memory and our night is written down into history. Maybe some day, you’ll blossom just like I have.